Author’s Note: I have no reputation to maintain and I wrote this earlier today in my underwear without an outline. Blessed be the spirit of the Gonzo!
Once upon a time I was born.
This is the only detail of my birth I know with certainty.
Much like our soon-to-be former president Obama, I have never seen the original copy of my birth certificate, only a photocopy.
Home videos recorded by my alleged mother and stepfather, Melanie (nee Fiscis) and Eugene Burch, show my alleged infant-self celebrating my first birthday in the basement of my childhood home in Loogootee, IN. A large, hand painted, baby blue number “1” can be seen painted on the wood paneling that used to cover the walls in our then-fully finished and furnished basement.
Family friends and relatives can be seen, overflowing with happiness and celebratory laughter on this “blessed” day, October 23, 1989. My birthday, allegedly!
The name on my social security card reads, “Eric Chance Killion Golden.” Once I asked my alleged mother why my last name wasn’t Burch like my stepfather, whom I was forbidden by her from calling “dad.” Her response was, “You’re a Killion and you’ve always been a Killion.” Melanie used to make games out of my half-brother Justin and I doing cruel things to Eugene while she would watch and laugh.
Despite Eugene having, at times, three jobs and being the sole source of financial stability in our lives, Melanie treated this man like a CIA operative treats a prisoner in Abu Grhaib. Working 12-18 hours a day, six, sometimes seven, days a week, immediately upon arriving at the home for which he paid the mortgage, he was humiliated and subjected to torment and orders from Melanie. The most common of such orders was, “Get me a Pepsi, puss wagon.” “Puss wagon” was one of her favorite nicknames for my stepfather.
I’m ashamed of myself for how I treated this man, the only father I’ve ever known, because my mother permitted, encouraged and approved the behavior. According to my half-brother, self-proclaimed sociopath and entrepreneur Justin Brant Killion, my biological father was a heroin addict. I don’t know his name or where he lives and I’ve never seen a picture of him.
My brothers last words to me, via email, were, “Do the world a favor and kill yourself.”
Believe me, my dear brother, I have tried. All that’s left for me now seems to be a bit of the ol’ Ultra Violence! So to speak, of course.
Melanie divorced my biological father after only being married for about 3 months and moved back to Indiana, her home state. She did this after discovering his drug use, or so I am told by my alcoholic half-brother.
Justin, an honors graduate of Indiana University, with a dual-degree in Criminal Justice and Psychology, became the proprietor of a successful Ebay store in the mid-2000s. A proud capitalist, he sold rare, collectible and vintage toys at a ridiculous mark-up to the highest bidder on the internet. He is proud of this. It was in my half-brother’s bedroom closet in which I found a copy of the rare book, God-Man: Our Final Evolution and the Neo-Tech Discovery by Mark Hamilton.
After reading it, I asked my half-brother where he had gotten it. Curiously, he denied the knowledge of its existence. Mysteriously, my personal copy of this book “went missing” during my stay at the Good Shepherd Center, a homeless shelter in Wilmington, NC. Currently, the Good Shepherd is only a few blocks from my apartment.
Perhaps I will attempt to recover what is mine.
American toy manufacturers perfected the marketing potential of popular comic book, video game and cartoon characters throughout the 80s and into the 2000s. Their methodology is as simple as it is effective. They intentionally produce a small number of “chase” figures in their toy line, instantly making them valuable collector’s items in the process. With the advent of digital marketplaces like Ebay, people like my half-brother realized the profit-potential of researching all the “chase” figures before they were available in stores, buying all of them at retail price from chain stores like Wal-Mart and Target, and then selling them for twice as much online to collectors who were too slow to get to the toy store before my half-brother and others like him.
Since the “Big Two” of American comic books, DC and Marvel, were purchased by umbrella conglomerates Time Warner and Disney, respectively, this process has only been expanded upon and refined. Wise comic aficionados like myself realize that DC and Marvel exist only for the purposes of making an endless profit, exploiting the American consumerist culture, and providing a reliable source of Predictive Programming for US Inc.
Perhaps that is why Robert Kirkman’s Image comic books are so popularthese days.
Comic-Con and Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) did not turn into “exclusive international events” by accident, obviously. The government has been involved with the production of comic books and video games for years, both secretly and publicly. Now defunct, the magazine “GameNow,” formerly “Expert Gamer,” and before that “EGM Squared,”a subsidiary of industry-behemoth Ziff-Davis‘ Electronic Gaming Monthly, reported more than a decade ago, during the Bush years, that the XBOX game “Full Spectrum Warrior” was originally designed as an interactive training program for US soldiers. The graphics and mechanics were tweaked and the military training program was released in retail stores for all the eager kids of America to enjoy. In case you weren’t aware, Santa Claus works for Uncle Sam, kiddies.
Upon becoming aware of the website “A Call to Actions” and hearing rumors that the US government has used both prescription medication and Chemtrails as a means of transmitting Nano-Technology, I became terrified that I had been used by the government as a test subject in their “Cyborg Soldier” program without my knowledge.
Considering I grew up only a few miles away from one of the most secretiveUS Navy Bases in existence, I believe it is a realistic possibility. As realistic as it might be, I have not been able to prove it. However, considering the popularization of Drone technology, the unprecedented level of secrecy under which organizations like DARPA function, and the massive amount of “Black Ops” technology that almost no one is aware even exists, I have to leave my mind open to the possibility.
In my opinion, the nightmares and hallucinations of dead bodies, the angry, disembodied voices in my head, and the knowledge that Drone pilots have developed a previously unknown brand of PTSD, are proof enough for me.
Whatever I have done and to whomever I have done it, without my knowledge, I am sorry. I cannot change what I have done in the past. I have played thousands upon thousands of hours of video games in my 27 year lifetime. I have always loved them. They served the purpose of allowing me to escape from my shitty life without doing drugs. They provided an outlet for my bottomless rage that didn’t involve actually killing other human beings, or so I thought.
Video game technology has eclipsed that which we thought possible even 20 years ago. Sony sells PS3s to the military. Microsoft XBOX controllers are used by the military. For this and a plethora of other reasons, I refuse to buy an XBOX One or PS4. I beg the video game players of the world to reconsider what defines “gameplay” for themselves. If you wouldn’t join the military, DO NOT PLAY WAR GAMES!
“War Games” is the exact distinction by which the US Military refers to its exercises in preliminary, “simulated warfare.” Operation Flintlock is the moniker given to the series of “War Games” that took place in West Africa, following Exxon-Mobil and Ebola’s arrivals.
Note: The above cited article is mistakenly credited to Michael T. Clare of Mint Press News with a broken link to the original article which I wrote for The Fifth Column News on March 11, 2015. I brought this error to the attention of my editor, Justin King, and he said he would resolve the issue. Regardless of what was said, the article is still incorrectly cited with a broken link in the heading.
“Simulated Warfare” is the exact term used by video game reviewers to describe games like Call of Duty, Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon, Metal Gear Solid, Battlefield and countless others.
Is this an accident? I will let you decide.