image edited by F. Kaskais Illustration: Matthew Blease for the Guardian ‘Slow down your thinking. Feel the serenity that comes from finding out you are the bore you’ve always thought’ by John Crace Hi. It’s me, Owen, and I want you to know that I’m here for you. Thank you for picking up my book. It means a lot that you have chosen to put your trust in me. I’m guessing that, since you have managed to read this far, you are probably feeling something has been missing from your life. That something has been me. With my workout you … Continue reading Ten to Zen by Owen O’Kane – digested read
by Isabelle Kohn Or: How not to get caught and end up on the sex-offender list On June 12, 2017, 68-year-old Peggy Klemm had very public sex with a man 20 years her junior against the wall of a bait shack in her suburban Florida retirement community. According to the police report, horrified onlookers called 911 to report the “emergency,” which climaxed a bit differently than Klemm might have intended — she was arrested and charged with indecent exposure and disorderly conduct. At her sentencing hearing, Klemm, who has 14 grandchildren, blew a kiss to her husband (different guy) and mouthed the words “I … Continue reading A GENTLEMAN’S GUIDE TO PUBLIC SEX
image edited by Fernando Kaskais Christmas carnage: ‘I know a couple whose marriage guidance counsellor actually advised they acquire some cannabis to deal with the stress of the season.’ Illustration: JIm Stoten/Observer by Emma Beddington It’s useful to have a scapegoat at Christmas so mine is the industrial revolution. Yes, the Victorians were responsible for the festive fever dream of Dickensian jollity we have all internalised, but it’s those damn steam and steel barons who allowed us to escape our families most of the year. Since we stopped spending our lives confined to one room with several generations of people … Continue reading How to survive Christmas… one step at a time
by Tracy Moore As someone raised in the South by poor rural farm women, I can’t remember a single situation where I wasn’t warned in advance not to embarrass the fuck out of my elders by being an unkempt, ill-mannered garbage child. Every Christmas growing up, my mother forced us to play against her in Trivial Pursuit. As the only adult in the room taking on four girls under the age of 15, she knew age alone would guarantee a victory. That made the game zero fun even after I picked up on the fact that 95 percent of the questions … Continue reading PICK A FIGHT WITH YOUR FAMILY NOW. THEY’LL THANK YOU ON CHRISTMAS.
by Ian Lecklitner Getting sick; using an umbrella; having a desk job; being sunburned; the list goes on. And on. And on. The pursuit of true manliness — whatever the hell that might be — is a bewildering and haphazard expedition. Gender stereotypes are both social constructs and ever-changing, yet people continue to propose risible standards for what it means to be a “real man,” and this Reddit thread asking guys to share the most ridiculous ones they’ve heard points out the true absurdity of them. Here are some of the best/worst (sic, obviously, throughout)… REAL MEN DON’T WORK OFFICE JOBS “According to … Continue reading EVERYTHING THAT MAKES YOU ‘NOT A REAL MAN,’ ACCORDING TO… ‘REAL MEN,’ WE GUESS?
Within a humorous gem, a serious reminder of how malleable even the seeming solidities of geopolitics are. BY MARIA POPOVA It is in times of uncertainty and complexity, particularly the kind catalyzed by political tumult, that we are most drawn to caricature — the art of parodic exaggeration and oversimplification. Political satire of the visual sort seems to hold a special allure to artistically gifted and precocious teenage girls — from fifteen-year-old Jane Austen’s parodic history of England, illustrated by her sister, to sixteen-year-old Elissa Jane Karg’s brilliant visual satire of 1960s counterculture. In 1868, a century and a half before London-based … Continue reading Geographical Fun: A Victorian Teenage Girl’s Impressive Cartographic Caricatures of European Countries and Their National Stereotypes
by Adam Elder Besides spending too much of it? Lots of things… There are so many dumb ways to spend your money — indeed, Las Vegas was pretty much founded upon this principle. But vices and material pleasures aside, what are truly the stupidest ways to waste your money? Alongside a couple of Certified Financial Planners affiliated with the XY Planning Network — Mark Wilson, with MILE Wealth Management in Irvine, California, and Kayse Kress, with Physician Wealth Services in Bristol, Connecticut — we tried to figure out the worst offenders. I KNOW I’M SPENDING TOO MUCH, BUT HOW DO I SPEND LESS? Yes, … Continue reading WHAT’S THE STUPIDEST THING I’M DOING WITH MY MONEY?