A Lesbian’s Guide to Making Sure You’re Doing Oral Sex Right

by merritt k Listen up y’all, because your good pal merritt is about to reveal another secret of lesbian sexual charisma. This time: oral. Giving head. Eating pussy. Cunnilingus. Whatever you call it, it’s too often done poorly, for the wrong reasons, or not at all. Let’s see what we can do about that. First, for the love of God, don’t make going down on a woman into a macho thing or some kind of bizarre gesture about “making it up to her.” More than any technique I can impart, this is key. I repeat, DO NOT make oral sex … Continue reading A Lesbian’s Guide to Making Sure You’re Doing Oral Sex Right

First Date Advice From a Dead Straight Guy and an Alive Lesbian

by merritt k As a child, my father constantly threatened to send me to Dale Carnegie’s training program for social incompetents due to my complete inability to speak to strangers. By then, Carnegie was already dead, but he’d left behind the first true self-help empire, spanning books, classes and programs and setting the stage for an entire industry. I didn’t actually read Carnegie’s seminal How to Win Friends and Influence People for another 20 years or so. At that point, I’d grown out of my childhood reserve and was more comfortable speaking with all kinds of people. In particular, I’d become a good dater — an excellent dater, if I do … Continue reading First Date Advice From a Dead Straight Guy and an Alive Lesbian

What We’d Be Willing to Wait In Line For

Today, we wait. For televisions. For thermal tops. For glassware. For boots. For Fitbits. For Keurigs (to make coffee with or to destroy). For laptops. For vacuums. For small kitchen appliances. For PlayStations. For Alexa. For pants. And all for never-before-seen, door-busting, bargain-basement prices. Well, everyone else will wait. As you’ll read below, it seems as though our staff doesn’t wait for much of anything unless it involves stuffing their faces. Sam Dworkin, Assistant Art Director: I’ve never been a huge fan of lines. You won’t find me at Disneyland and you definitely won’t find me brawling for a TV on Black Friday. … Continue reading What We’d Be Willing to Wait In Line For

An Astrologer’s Guide to Family Feuds

by Erin Taj Every holiday season, there’s an endless stream of unsolicited advice abouthow to play nice with family you’d otherwise pretend didn’t exist. And while some of it is useful — especially this, this and this — I prefer to look to the stars on how best to navigate the Thanksgiving dinner table in the chillest way possible. Because preventing epic arguments is as easy as knowing what your rival sibling’s sign is — or unpredictable cousin’s, or tortured uncle’s, or judgmental parent’s… (You get the idea). It reveals the outward thrust of their ego (i.e., the things they’re touchy about) and how they communicate (i.e., how they’ll tell you to fuck off — or passive aggressively brood — if and when you hit those raw nerves). Plus, the more … Continue reading An Astrologer’s Guide to Family Feuds

GOVERNMENT AS EXPLAINED BY A FICTIONAL CONVERSATION WITH AN EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL

by Vic Bishop, Staff Writer Waking Times  What if you had to explain government to an extra-terrestrial? It would probably sound pretty absurd. A group of people makes the rules for everyone else. They hang out in buildings with flags in front. They punish you if you break the rules, but they themselves don’t have to follow the rules. One of the rules they have is that you have to pay them money. They often use this money for stuff you’d never support, such as war. “You think it’s necessary for your survival to have a system where some humans among you, for … Continue reading GOVERNMENT AS EXPLAINED BY A FICTIONAL CONVERSATION WITH AN EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL

A Gentleman’s Guide to Office Dating

by Angelina Chapin Until the robots come for our jobs, office romance will exist. Thirty-seven percent of people have dated a colleague, according to a recent CareerBuilder survey. And the Society for Human Resource Management found that while 12 percent of companies have workplace dating policies that mostly specify that relationships between high- and low-ranking employees are a no-go, 81 percent of employers don’t provide training on how to manage these relationships. Admittedly, workplace dating has always been a powder keg of romantic potential, serious regret and boundary-pushing. But in a post-Weinstein world, we’re finally looking at it under a microscope. Even lower-level … Continue reading A Gentleman’s Guide to Office Dating

A Sex Guide for People Who Are Their Own Best Partner in Bed

Not ecstatic about your current sex life? Don’t have hours every day attempting to decipher all of the sanskrit in the Kama Sutra? Unable to bankroll a shopping spree (or a single purchase for that matter) at Jimmyjane? Here’s a sex help guide for you, fellow regular human who wants to be better in bed. The latest installment of our series The ‘Normal’ Couples’ Guide to Sex by Lynsey G The Person Madeline, Phoenix, AZ Age: 36 Goal: To keep her body ready for orgasms, with or without a partner. The Sex Situation: “I’m a single bisexual woman in my mid-30s,” Madeline tells us. “I … Continue reading A Sex Guide for People Who Are Their Own Best Partner in Bed