THE GUYS WHO WERE DISAPPOINTED WHEN THEY FINALLY HAD ANAL SEX WITH THEIR GIRLFRIENDS

by Desi Jedeikin  It turns out you can’t believe everything you hear on the Howard Stern Show When it comes to top-tier romantic writing, people often bring up Shakespeare’s sonnets or the legendary correspondence between famous couples like F. Scott Fitzgerald and his wife Zelda. But for me, in the pantheon of iconic expressions of passion, no one can ever top the love letters James Joyce wrote to his dirty little fuckbird, Nora Barnacle. Over the top in both their adoration and filth, there was one thing that took Joyce’s euphoria to the next level — when Nora agreed to let him fuck … Continue reading THE GUYS WHO WERE DISAPPOINTED WHEN THEY FINALLY HAD ANAL SEX WITH THEIR GIRLFRIENDS

THE BIG MEN OF SMALL PENIS PORN

by Michael Stahl These guys prove BDE can’t be measured in inches — and their relieved partners will be the first to agree Among the more common refrains in mainstream porn is one often uttered by a petite, kneeling starlet, born of this millennium, who’s just witnessed her more mature scene partner dropping trow. “Oh my godddd,” she’ll gasp, perhaps placing her forearm next to the just-unfurled flesh muffler in front of her for context. “I don’t know if that’s going to fit!”  Though porn producers might try to convince viewers they routinely capture foot-long fuckers on film, most porn star … Continue reading THE BIG MEN OF SMALL PENIS PORN

Why Do We Use Dark Humor to Deal With Terrifying Situations?

by Daniel Kolitz Life’s hard for the humorless—loved ones die, hurricanes and infections ravage the planet, and all they can do is sit around and grieve about it. Some of us, meanwhile, watching our houses burn down and our spouses succumb to hazily-understood pancreatic ailments, can at least leaven the pain with a well-timed joke. As distraction, coping mechanism or aid to acceptance, dark humor has helped millions through crushing personal and/or world-historical ordeals. For this week’s Giz Asks we reached out to a number of experts to suss out the reasons behind this dark phenomenon. Peter McGraw Professor of Marketing at … Continue reading Why Do We Use Dark Humor to Deal With Terrifying Situations?

What If Buddha and Jesus Were Roommates?

Saint Young Men, a manga about the Buddha and Jesus living in modern Tokyo, is being serialized in English. And religious studies professors are excited. By Jolyon Baraka Thomas Ayoung man lies on his side, bathing in a sunbeam in a bare Japanese-style room. The window is open, perhaps to let in the fresh breeze on a pleasant day. One bird perches on the sill, then another. In moments, a menagerie of neighborhood fauna surrounds the dozing figure. Startled, he suddenly awakes. “N-No, no!” he says.  “I’m not passing into nirvana!” Shooing away the gathered animals, he shouts: “Butt out, buddy!” … Continue reading What If Buddha and Jesus Were Roommates?

These Comics About Science Will Give You A Much-Needed Laugh

From Department of Mind-Blowing Theories by Tom Gauld.Arianna ReboliniBuzzFeed News Reporter Tom Gauld’s Department of Mind-Blowing Theories is a collection of 150 hilarious comic strips about science and technology. Here are some of our favorites. Excerpted from Department of Mind-Blowing Theories by Tom Gauld. Published by Drawn & Quarterly, April 14, 2020. Copyright © 2020 by Tom Gauld. All rights reserved. https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/ariannarebolini/comics-science-technology-stem-tom-gauld Continue reading These Comics About Science Will Give You A Much-Needed Laugh

What Happens When a Joke Is Followed by Silence

Usually, that’s bad. The pandemic makes it normal. by HELEN LEWIS Imagine sitting down at a grand piano to play, I don’t know, a Chopin ballade—something that requires technical skill and emotional engagement, an understanding of rhythm, stress, and volume. Now imagine that when you press the keys, you hear absolutely nothing. That’s what performing comedy without an audience is like. Over the past month, comedians have been relearning how to generate laughs when no one is there to laugh back. Thanks to the coronavirus pandemic, they are recording remotely, over the internet, usually sitting safely in their own homes. On The … Continue reading What Happens When a Joke Is Followed by Silence

How to Cut Your Own Hair

After years of practice, it’s a skill I’ll never let go of. by ADAM HARRIS Magic shave powder smells like sulfur, a fetid perfume. They call it Magic because it keeps the razor bumps away. Black men have used it for more than a century to keep the coarse hair jutting from their faces from curling back into their skin. You whip it to a froth in a cup, slather it on your face, and wipe it clean with a butter knife. My granddad used the Magic that comes in the red-and-white can—extra strength. He lived in a single-story ranch-style shotgun … Continue reading How to Cut Your Own Hair

America Needs Guys Right Now, Not Men

Stay inside, pick an interest, become a Guy by Drew Magary The men are at it again. This time, they’re crowding into Nashville bars and throwing Frisbees in the middle of Prospect Park and showing the world that a little pandemic ain’t gonna stop them from havin’ a good-ass time. They’re logging on to tell people who are self-isolating that they’re ignorant, weak, and allergic to fun. Some of these men are gonna die shortly, and probably take your grandma along with them. But for now, they’re flipping that ‘rona the bird and showing it who’s boss. This is extremely on-brand for my people. If … Continue reading America Needs Guys Right Now, Not Men

When Life Gives You Sweetened Condensed Milk, Make Cocktails

Borrowing an old maritime cocktail recipe can yield surprisingly good drinks. by David Wondrich There’s a lot we can learn from sailors, and I don’t just mean how to tie a whole bunch of wickedly amusing knots. Sailors—and here I’m talking about honest-to-God, rope and canvas, rounding-the-Horn-in-winter sailors—were always the masters of somehow making do with what you’ve got handy, because the other option is not making do. The ones who made do are the ones we hear from. The others? Only Davy Jones knows their stories. One of the lessons is to think carefully about what you bring on board. Besides water, … Continue reading When Life Gives You Sweetened Condensed Milk, Make Cocktails

IN ‘END TIMES FUN,’ MARC MARON SEES THE NEXT APOCALYPSE COMING AROUND THE CORNER

by Tim Grierson  The comic’s new Netflix stand-up special was taped last year, but it’s perfectly suited to our unsettling coronavirus age “I don’t know what’s happening, people — I don’t know. But it’s pretty clear the world is ending. I don’t want to shock anybody — seems to be happening, though. I thought we’d get out, I thought we’d make it under the wire. I thought I would — I’m 56 — but I dunno, I think we might see it.” When Marc Maron recorded End Times Fun at REDCAT in L.A. on October 30th, he couldn’t have known how prophetic … Continue reading IN ‘END TIMES FUN,’ MARC MARON SEES THE NEXT APOCALYPSE COMING AROUND THE CORNER