A Sex Guide for People Whose Partners Won’t Go Down on Them

The latest installment of our series The ‘Normal’ Couples’ Guide to Sex

Not ecstatic about your current sex life? Don’t have hours every day attempting to decipher all the sanskrit in the Kama Sutra? Unable to bankroll a shopping spree (or a single purchase for that matter) at Jimmyjane? Here’s a sex help guide for you, fellow regular human who wants to be better in bed.

The Person

Tracy, Raleigh, North Carolina
Goal: To get her boyfriend to give her oral sex and more orgasms in general

The Sex Situation: “I’m seeing a man who’s 18 years older than me,” explains Tracy. “It’s basically a see-where-things-go relationship. We see each other at least twice a week and try to go out dancing or have dinner. He works long hours and goes to school; he’s getting his GED. Originally, he’s from Mexico, but he’s been here since he was a teenager. There are sometimes language barriers with texting, but for the most part, we understand each other fairly well. In bed, he’s very sweet and takes his time, but he needs to work on sensually exploring the body.”

The Obstacle: “He’s never gone down on a woman before,” says Tracy. “He’s open to it, but shy. I’m also hairy down there. I don’t shave because I’m sensitive, but I do trim. I’ll make an effort to shave for his first time [giving oral sex], though.”

What She’s Tried: “He seems responsive to breast play, which I love,” Tracy says. “I also like a little whipping for the sting and the soothing after so he’s started to spank me a little, gently. I’m getting him to master delicious ass grabs during sex, too. All in all, he’s tried a lot more with me than he’s ever done before.”

The Goal: “In addition to the one specific goal [of oral sex], I’d also like to come more regularly in general. I can get myself wet from stimulation, but I want longer play. When it happens, it’s been extremely hot — I like to be driven mad from teasing! But it doesn’t happen nearly enough.”

The Plan

Getting to Oral: “Because your initial question was about how to invite your partner to experience oral for the first time in his life at age 49, we thought we’d start there,” say sex experts Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman, the authors of Making Love Real and Cockfidence, and the creators of the experiential Somatica Method of Sex and Relationship Coaching. “You already have some good ideas, like preparing yourself so that your lickable parts are as smooth, accessible and inviting as possible. Even before that, we encourage you to have an enticing talk with him or share an erotic fantasy that includes oral sex. So often, when we think about sexual communication, we fear that it will be an awkward, dry experience. But you can communicate the specifics of your sexual desires in a very sexy way by cuddling up next to him in bed and whispering in his ear exactly what you want him to do to you.”

Teaching the Tease: “Since it sounds like a big part of what arouses you is the feeling of anticipation and teasing, this might be a great lead-up to oral sex and doesn’t actually have to take that long,” explain Harel and Hirschman. “After all, it sounds like he’s a very busy man!

“Before you teach him to how to tease, however, the first thing to do is to figure out where you like to be teased. Think of the parts of your body that respond best to light, teasing touch. Many women say that they love the back of their neck or lower back [to be touched], as well as their inner thighs and hips teased.

“That said, we’ve found the best way to teach a tease is to give a tease, so lay him down on his stomach and start gently teasing the back of his neck with your fingertips. Next, kiss the back of his neck slowly, breathing on his neck and near his ear. Then, take one good bite on his shoulder (if you want to be bitten back). Finally, kiss down to his lower back (and wherever else you like to be kissed on the back of your body).

“Once you’ve done a good, thorough job there, ask him to turn over and give him the tease on the front of his body that you’d like most. Perhaps it’s around the edges of his pecs before moving to his nipples. Maybe you’re stroking and kissing his inner thighs. There’s nothing like a little give-and-take so, if you want him to give you oral after a good tease, perhaps you can tease him with the start of a blowjob and tell him you’ll give him the rest as soon as he takes his turn teasing you.”

Using His Fingers (and a Vibe): “If you want to increase your number of orgasms as well as their intensity, his fingers on your G-spot may be the best answer,” say Harel and Hirschman. “Since many women need some kind of clitoral stimulation in order to come, we always use our vibrators when our partners have their fingers inside us. Because the most intense orgasms come from strong G-spot stimulation, it’s helpful to have equally strong clitoral stimulation — and a tongue or his other hand might not be enough and might also be difficult to coordinate…




The orgasm cure

Resultado de imagem para Photo by Antoine d'Agata/MagnumPhotos

image edited by WI – Photo by Antoine d’Agata/MagnumPhotos

What if we could expand ecstasy, reduce stress and lift depression, all by delaying and extending orgasm?

by Peter von Ziegesar is an American writer and filmmaker. His writing has been published in The Huffington Post, The New York Times and The New York Times Magazine, among others. He is also the author of the memoir The Looking Glass Brother(2014). He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

Perhaps 40 of us, an equal number of men and women, sat on rows of folding metal chairs in a high-ceilinged room in the ground floor of a church in New York’s East Village that had been converted into a community centre. Most were 30-something, good-looking, well-dressed Manhattan professionals. Nicole Daedone, author of the book Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm (2011), and inventor of a sexual technique called ‘Orgasmic Meditation’, walked confidently to the front of the room. She was a tall, attractive, rail-thin woman, with high cheekbones and shoulder-length blonde hair. She wore a black skirt and top that looked sprayed on, and black suede boots with four-inch stiletto heels.

Although this was the first time I was seeing her, I’d been on the track of Daedone and her ilk for some weeks as a journalist. They were part of what Daedone like to call the ‘Slow Sex’ movement, but which I was starting to see as a full-blown orgasm industry, composed of groups and individuals mostly centred in the San Francisco Bay area. All focused on the skill of gently stimulating a woman (or a man) to the edge of climax in order to extend his or her orgasms, and therefore theoretically her ecstasy, past its normal limits. They were connected in that they spoke the same lingo, had identical or similar practices, and appeared to share the same Ur-source. What that source was I wasn’t sure yet, but I was getting close.

By her own admission, Daedone has led something of a chameleon’s life. ‘I have been a magna cum laude academic, a gallery-owner, a stripper, an underworld traveller, and the daughter of a man who died in prison for child molestation,’ she wrote in a blog recently. ‘I have been a postmodern feminist lesbian and a meditation practitioner, a yogini and a mystery-school student.’

She must also have been involved in psychotherapy. In a 2011 TedX talk, Daedone explained how she came to the revelation that something new was needed. ‘Woman after woman was coming through my office,’ she said, ‘chanting what I call the Western Woman’s Mantra: “I work too hard, I eat too much, I diet too much, I drink too much, I shop too much, I give too much, and still there’s this sense of hunger that I can’t touch.”’ I could hear low murmurs of agreement from some of the women in the audience.

‘We have a pleasure deficit disorder in this country,’ she continued. ‘I don’t think it’s medical. I do think it’s a cultural issue. And I do think there is a cure. That cure is orgasm. But it’s going to be a very different definition of orgasm than we know. It’s going to be a definition of orgasm that actually works with a woman’s body.’

As she talked, Daedone made a curling gesture with her right-hand index finger, a finger that knows how to play a woman like a cello. She isn’t currently a lesbian, as her concupiscent personal dating blog makes clear, but she was about to perform on her close friend and lieutenant, Rachel Cherwitz, who was hovering nearby, a pale and thin young woman whose sad eyes were framed by dark, shoulder-length brown hair, calling to mind a melancholy angel in a Pre-Raphaelite painting.

‘In a moment,’ Daedone announced, ‘I will put my finger on the upper left-hand quadrant of Cherwitz’s clitoris; if she were facing you, that’s the one-o’clock position. Both she and I will be putting our attention on the same point. It’s a fairly intense point, mind you. And then, just like a master chess player absorbed in a game, or a meditator absorbed in his breathing, you’ll see her get absorbed into that place. The difference is that she will be there with a partner. She will be allowed to have this most profound and deep experience with another human being.’

Her followers don’t call her ‘the Jimi Hendrix of strokers’ for nothing

We in the audience made awkward small talk as Daedone’s assistants set up a padded massage table strewn with upholstered pillows. Quietly averting her eyes, Cherwitz stripped off her trousers, and then her underpants. She climbed up on the table to sit facing us, and then gracefully swooned back until her head touched the bolsters, allowing her pale thighs to butterfly open with her knees bent, so that her feet almost touched. One does not often see such an unashamed public display of intimate nakedness in New York City. At Daedone’s invitation, the more adventurous of us crowded in a little closer, and as Cherwitz shifted her hips to get comfortable, the collective pulse quickened. Daedone hooked some lubricant into the crook of her finger and put a gob on her forearm. The lubricant she uses is a specially concocted slippery blend of olive oil, beeswax, shea butter and grapeseed oil…






Porn in A Place Where Sitting On Someone’s Face is Illegal

by Lynsey G

A night-vision camera blurs across a nondescript outdoor space where a car is parked, the video picking up just as the door is opened. Inside sits a young blonde woman, her lacy bra pulled down to reveal her breasts and her tight skirt hiked up to reveal similarly lacy panties. In the camera’s green glow, she lazily exits the car, showing off her body to several men who have gathered around and who are openly masturbating. One appears much older; another appears to be wearing sweat pants. The cameraman, amazed at what he’s seeing, whispers breathlessly, “She’s a real shower, this girl.” The men clumsily take turns having sex with her for the next 23 minutes — standing up beside the car, on the ground next to the car and directly on top of the hood of the car (its license plate in full view).

The video has more than a million views on PornHub, where if you type “U.K.” into the search bar, “amateur” and “dogging” are the top two autofill options. It’s a prime example of both categories, which when placed together constitute one of the most popular forms of U.K.-produced porn today.

Dogging, though not well-known in the U.S., is a subcultural sexual phenomenon throughout the U.K. It essentially consists of people gathering to have sex in or around their parked cars or outdoors in parks. It’s been a favorite pastime for exhibitionists and swingers for decades; it’s also proven popular with BBC radio announcers and at least one football star. Dogging occurs in spots well-known to dogging enthusiasts — and often, to chagrined members of their local communities — in roadside parking areas. They typically arrange encounters online beforehand, though part of the excitement of dogging is having sex with strangers, so most participants keep the pre-sex communication to a minimum. It’s always incorporated an element of voyeurism; nonparticipants are usually welcome to watch, and often to film, as a number of men engage in sex with one woman who makes herself available to them.

Its rampant popularity on PornHub is the culmination of a long history of the British porn industry making the best of a bad situation, and it speaks volumes about the current state of pornography in Great Britain. “The problem with the [British porn] industry today is that it still has this legacy of amateurism associated with it because it’s been clandestine,” says Oliver Carter, a senior lecturer in media and cultural theory at Birmingham City University. The history of sexual media in Great Britain goes back centuries, but he says, “It was illegal to distribute pornography in the U.K. — okay to make, but illegal to distribute — until the late 1990s. So you had production, but it was mainly for export.”

Specifically, non-explicit “glamour films” were produced as early as the 1940s and shipped to mainland Europe and the U.S. Hardcore material also was filmed, with notable outlaws like John Lindsay in the 1970s and Michael Freeman in the 1980s distributing their films illegally and on a small scale domestically. It wasn’t until 2000, however, that the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC), the U.K.’s equivalent of the MPAA, updated its policies to catch up to the imported porn that was entering the country from elsewhere in the world. As such, the BBFC instituted a new classification — R18, which is roughly analogous to our X rating, with the notable difference being that while the Crown must classify every explicit film to be sold on film or DVD in the U.K., the X rating isn’t trademarked or overseen by the MPAA, so American pornographers can apply the X rating if they want, but it isn’t required…




Everyone Thinks About Other People During Sex Sometimes

But if you’re doing it all the time, there’s a problem

by Tracy Moore

The human mind is a mysterious organ that can suddenly conjure an aardvark undergoing a gynecological exam while operating a hot air balloon. So it’s difficult to know when or if we should feel too bad about anything we cook up, especially when we’re being intimate with others. Case in point: A guy writing to sex columnist Dan Savage wants to know if thinking about other women during sex with his girlfriend is grounds for shame and guilt, or if he is innocent of the sex thought crime charges levied against him.

Writer Guilty Over Nebulous Ecstasy (GONE), asks:

I’m a 32-year-old guy, my gal is 34, and we’ve been together for two years. Every time we get it on or she goes down on me (though not when I eat her out), my mind wanders to fantasies involving porno chicks, exes, or local baristas. A certain amount of this is normal, but I’m concerned that this now happens every time. When I’m about to come, I shift my mind back to my partner and we have a hot climax, but I feel guilty. Advice?

First off, we must all feel collectively uncertain about our roaming sex thoughts because some variation on this question — what do you REALLY think about during sex? — has been asked on Reddit over and over and over. Those answers range from funny to weird.

“The 1957 Milwaukee Braves starting lineup,” one commenter writes. “Can I cum in her” and “should I just cum in her,” another offers. “Dead puppies,” another says. “What can I say, it’s the only way to not let the first one off too fast.” Most of the answers center around thinking of how good it feels, to simply lasting as long as possible. “Don’t cum don’t cum don’t cum don’t cum,” is one such regular answer.

While deeply insightful, such answers don’t actually get at the letter writer’s question, which is, basically, is it okay to think about other people or not? There’s no honest way to know how often people fantasize about someone else, fictional or otherwise, while having sex. It’s unprovable, and there’s great incentive to lie. (We did conduct a private Twitter poll just out of curiosity, and as of this writing, roughly 32 percent of respondents said they do think about someone else “sometimes” during sex. No one said they always did it. About 39 percent answered “rarely”; an impressive or dishonest 29 percent said “never.”)

One online survey of 1,300 people in 2015, from a sex toy company in London, found not-too-far off results: That 46 percent of women admit they’ve thought of someone else during sex, while 42 percent of men throw some other lady into their mental rotation. Hard to say why — perhaps women are slightly less satisfied in bed and need that extra visual boost — but the people most fantasized about were close friends, colleagues and bosses, and exes. Yes, many people dipped back into memories from people they’d actually slept with. Some people went on to sleep with the people they’d admitted to fantasizing about while with others.

While that’s going to be terrifyingly gross news to some, most experts on sex or relationships maintain that imagining someone else up top while giving an entirely different person the business down below is generally normal and benign—with some caveats, of course.

One therapist writing at Psychology Today takes the angle that it’s okay every once in a while to think of someone else, but wouldn’t be cool on a regular basis to think of someone else every time you do it. Seth Meyers (presumably not that Seth Meyers) writes:

Once in a blue moon, if you find yourself in the middle of an intimate act fantasizing about another, you should not be horrified or feel guilty. If you find yourself fantasizing about someone else on a regular basis, your fantasy has become a coping mechanism to handle feelings about your relationship. You could be bored or angry at your partner, and your fantasy becomes your defense against incorporating intimacy with your partner.

In other words: I’ll give you the literal real estate of my body, but not the mental real estate in my mind! Solid move.

A therapist at Health.com says to go to town on the rich inner fantasies front:

So thinking about other men — celebrities, complete strangers, aliens, whatever! — by no means implies that you’re unhappily married or not sexually satisfied by your mate. In fact, having a variety of sexual fantasies is actually a positive thing if it helps improve your arousal when you’re with your partner.

Note: Alien erotica is real.

Two experts — psychologist and sex therapist Gail Wyatt, and gynecologist Lewis Wyatt—writing at The Root also say that the practice of calling up a virtual rolodex of other people during sex is very common. Sex with one person may become routine, and by basically inserting this other fantasy into play, they explain, you can spice up your own relationship on the sly to your partner’s benefit. They write:

Actually, the question is not who you are thinking about but for what reason. If you are using fantasy to heighten your sexual arousal and ability to experience an orgasm with your partner, that is not cheating. There is no question that fantasizing can make sex more pleasurable if your partner receives the benefits (more pleasure and perhaps an orgasm)…




It Doesn’t Matter if You’re ‘Punching Above Your Weight’ in a Relationship

Is one of you hotter? Who cares?

Are you dating someone much hotter than you? Or are you keenly aware that you’re better-looking than your partner? Do people stop you on the street to ask you how you landed such a smokin’ catch, or do they look pityingly at you after they get a look at your homely partner’s ugly mug? If so, you may be punching above or below your weight, a phenomenon that describes mismatched attractiveness between two people who, god knows why, still want to sleep with each other. One of you got really, really lucky, and is probably very rich or has the captivating appeal of the fidget spinner.

According to a super-scientific survey from a game show called Your Face or Mine, a third of men think they are punching above their weight in their relationship, while only 18 percent of women think they are with someone better looking than they are, The Guardianreported. Is this male inflation, female modesty or both—or have women finally surpassed men in quantifiable beauty (a real scientific theory)?

Some results from the survey: Men are most likely to punch above their weight at age 28, while women are most likely at age 26. One in 10 men has been told by a complete stranger that his girl is really putting him to shame. A third of men say looks are the most important thing to them, but less than a quarter of women say the same thing. Other survey results include that one in seven women admits to having stayed with someone awful because he was hot, while one in five men says the same.

You don’t need a degree in gender studies or even astute observation skills to notice that in this crazy world we live in, women are valued more for their looks, spend more time trying to look good and generally have more tools to reshape what they’ve got into something perfectly acceptable to leave the house in. Men are a bit more stuck with the cards they are dealt, or at least have to do a lot more real, actual work to transform themselves. Because the very notion of femininity is associated with prettiness and allure, we typically think of women as “beautiful” and attractive in a way we are much less likely to apply to men. Men do things; they are not passive objects to be gazed upon. (Still speaking in generalities out of the mouth of Joe Schmoe here—bear with me.)

So maybe women just seem better-looking because we evaluate them that way and because, you know, makeup. Or maybe women have actually gotten better-looking over time than men. Studies show that beautiful people actually breed more daughters, and hotness is inherited—so cut to now, and women are hotter.

At least, that’s the Trivers-Willard hypothesis — good-looking parents have good-looking daughters, and the world begets some real (female) hotties. Satosha Kanazawa writes at Psychology Today:

If beautiful parents are more likely to have daughters, and if physical attractiveness is heritable (such that beautiful parents beget beautiful children and ugly parents beget ugly children), then it logically follows that, over many generations in the course of human evolution, the average level of physical attractiveness among women should gradually increase and the average level of physical attractiveness among men should gradually decrease. No matter what the initial sex difference in physical attractiveness (whether men were more attractive than women, women were more attractive than men, or there were no sex differences in physical attractiveness), given long enough time, the outcome should be that women are on average more physically attractive than men are.

Kanazawa goes on to note that surveys of attractiveness found that in Japan and the United States, women are on average more physically attractive. What’s weird about this is that the survey was based on the opinion of teachers, and of children at age 7. Since when do teachers, known for bad sweaters, dated jeans and 30-year-old shoes, know about beauty? And since when are we rating the attractiveness of children?!

That said, the difference does not seem that great: 85.5 percent of girls were “attractive” at age 7, compared to 83.1 percent of boys. (Though it’s not large, it is shocking, because no way is 85 percent of any population attractive—have you been to a mall or crowded city street lately? A gathering of vintage cars? Lotta beasts out there.)

Jerry Seinfeld correctly stated a long time ago that a mere 5 percent of the population is dateable…




Are You Having a ‘Several-Night Stand’?

Here’s why you should probably stop

by Tracy Moore

 Are you seeing a woman regularly, spending good time together, figuring out sex things she likes, getting increasingly efficient blowjobs and talking about your feelings with enthusiastic adoration toward her, but would bristle at her suggestion that you’re having an actual relationship? Then you may be engaged in a several-night stand, a modern conundrum wrought by dating apps, the illusion of choice and the idea that relationships can meet the full spectrum of human need while remaining utterly meaningless. Perhaps congratulations are in order for cracking the monogamy code, but possibly the woman you are with is very confused.

We know this because over at Broadly, Maria Yagoda explores this new dating phenomenon from the female side, and it is not a ringing endorsement. Yagoda writes:

Enter what my friend and I have dubbed “the several-night stand,” a casual and recurring hook-up situation that mimics a relationship but is definitely NOT a relationship because one party recently got out of something long-term or is not looking for anything serious right now or wants to keep doing this without a label? As its name suggests, the several-night stand is like a one-night stand, but takes place over several nights, often over a period of weeks or months. When you are together, you feel like you’re dating-dating. When you’re apart, the intimacy vanishes, save for the occasional post-2 AM Instagram-story remark or a “sorry your cat died” text. (That counts as intimacy, yeah?) The several-night stand arises because one person wants a girlfriend or boyfriend for a night, maybe a few times a week.

The stories are basically the same: A woman has been hanging out a bunch with a dude who doesn’t want anything serious, yet he shares emotionally and texts all day. The result is she’s dancing around an impenetrable door-to-more that will never open. It feels like the guy is having his cake and eating it too, but isn’t just the sex-cake of yore; it’s also the feelings-cake of today. It’s why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, but the milk is blowjobs as well as talking about his life and his feelings and giving him supportive responses and equal parts adoration in return. And blowjobs.

And most importantly, there’s zero obligation on either part, only it feels like there’s too much going on for there not to be. It’s all the sex and the emotional labor of a real, honest-to-god relationship, only he can dip in and out without explanation and she has no ground to stand on if she objects because like, No labels, babe. Told ya up front! He either suddenly treats her like a psycho, or simply says any discussion of the relationship beyond this fake relationship version is simply too much.

While we’ve written skeptically before about the proliferation of allegedly new dating phenomena that’s really just an old thing repackaged in a new term — Cushioning! Breadcrumbing! Benching! — this feels truly and distinctly modern. (And shitty.)

Dating, as fraught as it is to do a dance of courtship, at least used to be something like layaway, in that it came with the possibility of something more committed down the road if both parties agreed. Casual flings, for all their equally fraught possibilities of catching feelings, not only involved laying down limits up front (I’m not looking for anything serious) but they also reflect that casual, limited status in the lived experience. You might have sex, but you don’t spend that much time together. He definitely isn’t texting you adorable cat gifs, remembering your birthday, and telling you you’re gorgeous and wonderful.

But such is the dilemma of the several-night stand. It’s literally all the Things with none of the Thing. It’s not a series of disconnected hookups (though it’s presented as casual) but rather comes plush with all the perks of a relationship, while skillfully masquerading as a booty call. No one likes a relationship whose steps are already laid out, unless that’s all you want.

Evan Marc Katz, a relationship coach who often translates male behavior for a female audience, fielded this exact question from a woman recently who found herself in a several-night stand situation. Kris writes in:

I have been in an exclusive relationship with a man for 6 months now. He has shown up in every way AND more. I had major surgery and he stood by me, slept in the hospital, and took care of me at my worst for my 3-week recovery. He just took me on our first trip away. He wants to see me every day and I love that.

Basically though, I was blindsided the other day because after everything, he said that I am not his “girlfriend” and he doesn’t want the expectations that come with the title…






by Christina Sarich, Staff Writer Waking Times

Millions of women are prescribed birth control pills every day to prevent pregnancy or to control a hormonal imbalance, but Dr. Sara Gottfried, a practicing gynecologist, is convinced women have been sold a pack of lies when it comes to these top-selling pharmaceutical drugs. Here’s why.

First, you should know that this article is about supporting women completely in having full choice of when to conceive or not to conceive. However, it is also about informing them (and the men who love them) what happens to their bodies and minds when they take birth control pills year after year.

As Elizabeth Siegel, another medical expert reveals in her study, marketing decisions rather than scientific innovations, have guided the development and positioning of contraceptive products in recent years. What’s even more disturbing is that though there are hundreds of birth control brand names to choose from, there are only a handful of actual formulations, all based on science that is more than 50 years old (and dare I say, based on the tired, patriarchal notion of female sexuality).

Considering that there are forces which would like to sterilize the entire population, this topic deserves a little extra inspection. Compulsory sterilization is no joke. Its’ been happening for several decades now. The recent realization of Kenyan doctors that a UN tetanus vaccine was a “mass sterilization exercise,” and other telling attempts reiterate this truth.

Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh once said, “If I were reincarnated, I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.”

Paul Ehrlich, a former science adviser to president George W. Bush and the author of The Population Bomb has stated:

“To our minds, the fundamental cure, reducing the scale of the human enterprise (including the size of the population) to keep its aggregate consumption within the carrying capacity of the Earth is obvious but much neglected or denied.”

If they can’t lower our numbers with chemtrails, forced vaccinations, GMO food, carcinogens in our air, water, and soil, endocrine disrupting pesticides, nuclear weapons, endless wars, manufactured AIDS and other viruses, etc., then the New World Order attempts to just sterilize us like cattle.

HBO host, Bill Maher has stated, “I’m pro-choice, I’m for assisted suicide, I’m for regular suicide, I’m for whatever gets the freeway moving – that’s what I’m for. It’s too crowded, the planet is too crowded and we need to promote death.”

Moreover, more than 3 million unwanted pregnancies happen every year, just in the U.S. even with contraceptive use – so once we throw in the health harming hazards that go with these drugs, it seems it is time that women had a 360-degree view of their birth control choices, before plowing ahead.

So, as offered by a practicing gynecologist who sees hundreds of women every year, here are some reasons why you (or your wife or girlfriend) may want to stop taking the Pill (Birth Control Pills – BCPs).

  1. The Pill dramatically increase a woman’s testosterone levels which can cause a low sex drive, vaginal dryness, and painful intercourse. Up to 40% of women may be experiencing this problem but not talking about it.
  2. The reason the Pill is famous for helping to clear up acne is that it overwhelms natural estrogen with testosterone. While this may be a temporary benefit to taking the Pill, long-term, your natural “female” hormones don’t return to normal. This means your hormones stay whacked for decades. Dr. Kelly Brogan tells the same tale of disturbed hormonal balance in women who have been taking the pill, with no clear sign of the body returning to normal hormone levels.
  3. The gut is negatively affected by BCPs. Another thing that gets “whacked” when you take the pill is your gut health. Ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease (both linked to chronic gut inflammation) is more common among women who use oral contraceptives.
  4. The Pill decreases the bio-availability of key vitamins and minerals your body needs. Doctors still don’t know how, but BCPs lower the body’s absorption of vitamins B1, B2, B5, B6, B9 (folate), B12, vitamins C and E, copper, magnesium, selenium, and zinc.
  5. The Pill causes blood clots. If certain types of oral birth control are used, the tendency to develop deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolus increases three-fold.
  6. The Pill makes PMS worse. Those containing drosperinone, a synthetic version of progestin, are the worst.
  7. The Pill lowers your thyroid hormones. Hashimoto’s disease isn’t just from Fukushima radiation.
  8. The Pill can make you gain weight, retain fluid, and feel bloated. The mainstream will tell you that the Pill isn’t the reason for your eight gain, but just in case you think it is, don’t worry – it will go away in a month or two.
  9. The Pill increases the risk of breast cancer and cervical cancers. No brainer there.
  10. The Pill, as opposed to other contraceptive methods can cause permanent delayed conception. Maybe you don’t want kids now, but what about the future?

Fertility is a very personal choice, but women and men alike should at least be aware of what chemical birth control pills do to the body and possible reasons why they are so heavily prescribed.

Dr. Gottfried advises,

“For some women, the BCP is the easiest or most convenient choice, and above all else, I support a woman’s right to choose. I prefer non-hormonal forms of contraception like the copper intrauterine device (IUD), cervical caps, diaphragms, and condoms, but I understand they are not always possible, affordable, or appropriately effective.

If you choose to stay on the Pill despite my precautions, take note of any symptoms of hormone imbalance.”

About the Author

Christina Sarich is a staff writer for Waking Times. She is a writer, musician, yogi, and humanitarian with an expansive repertoire. Her thousands of articles can be found all over the Internet, and her insights also appear in magazines as diverse as Weston A. Price, NexusAtlantis Rising, and the Cuyamungue Institute, among others…

This article (Gynecologist Gives 10 Reasons Women Should Quit Taking Birth Control Pills) was originally created and published by Waking Times and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Christina Sarich and WakingTimes.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this copyright statement. Please contact WakingTimes@gmail.com for more info.