“Cheating’s OK for me, but not for thee” — inside the messy psychology of sexual double standards

A Kiss (Getty Images) The mating game often involves convoluted rationalizations By DAVID M. BUSS This article was originally published on The Conversation. Sexual double standards – in which women and men are judged differently for the same sexual behavior – will probably sound familiar to most people. The classic one centers on multiple sexual partners: Men who are promiscuous are lauded as “studs,” “lotharios” or “ladies’ men,” while women who have a lot of sex get called “sluts” or “whores.” Men who cheat on their wives aren’t exactly praised, but they’ll often get a pass. Women who do the same, on the other hand, risk sullying their … Continue reading “Cheating’s OK for me, but not for thee” — inside the messy psychology of sexual double standards

How Erections Work

Erections happen in response to sexual arousal. Learn more about how and why. By Kelly Burch  Medically reviewed by Matthew Wosnitzer, MD For many people, erections are a part of day-to-day life. Erections happen when the penis gets hard and usually stands outward or upward. This happens most often in response to sexual arousal, but sometimes it can happen for no reason at all, particularly during puberty and during the teen years. Erections can go away after ejaculation or on their own.  Although many people experience erections, there’s a lot most people don’t understand. The ability to get and maintain an erection can … Continue reading How Erections Work

The History of Locker-Room Talk

Why men put down other men by attacking their masculinity. BY JORDAN SHAPIRO When I first posted on social media about my new book, Father Figure: How to Be a Feminist Dad, some of my friends were confused. One commented, “I don’t understand; do you hate men?” Another said, “I feel bad for your sons.” It turns out that many people—even some in my progressive, liberal bubble—resist the idea of men becoming feminist dads because they think feminism is inherently “emasculating.” They mistakenly imagine that the move toward gender equality requires a devaluation of manhood. According to the Pew Research Center, … Continue reading The History of Locker-Room Talk

If Intelligence Turns You On, You Could Be a Sapiosexual

It does not make you arrogant, unrealistic, or weird. by Imi Lo Reviewed by Gary Drevitch KEY POINTS For the sapiosexual, intelligence itself is the genuine “switch.” Their ideal life partner would be an intellectual equal. This is a preference or orientation; it is not up to an individual who they are attracted to. Sapiosexuals deserve love and happiness as much as anyone else, though it may be somewhat harder to find. The word ‘sapio’ is derived from the Latin word ‘sapere,’ which means to be wise. The idea of being attracted to someone’s mind rather than their body is not … Continue reading If Intelligence Turns You On, You Could Be a Sapiosexual

800 years of rape culture

From The Taymouth Hours (Yates Thompson MS 13, folio 62r), 14th century. Courtesy the British Library Rape in the Middle Ages was seen as a routine part of women’s lives, even as it was condemned. How far have we really come? Carissa Harris is associate professor of English at Temple University in Philadelphia. She is the author of Obscene Pedagogies: Transgressive Talk and Sexual Education in Late Medieval Britain (2018). Edited by Pam Weintraub One of the most memorable lies about medieval rape appears early in Mel Gibson’s blockbuster film Braveheart (1995). As he ponders how to entice his English noblemen to live in Scotland, King Edward I declares that … Continue reading 800 years of rape culture

Signs You’ve Fallen Out Of Love

BY JERRICA TISDALE Falling in love can be one of the most magical times in an individual or couple’s life. It’s filled with excitement and hope. You’re excited because you’ve found someone who makes you happy and loves you as much as you love them. The future together seems bright and full of many possibilities. Because you’re in love, days are an endless playground of wonder and delight. Unfortunately, however, love doesn’t always last. Falling out of love can be one of the most heartbreaking times in a person’s life. It can be devastating and life changing, particularly for women. “It may … Continue reading Signs You’ve Fallen Out Of Love

The case of Norman Douglas

He was a literary lion and an infamous pederast: what might we learn from his life about monstrosity and humanity? Rachel Hope Cleves is a historian and professor at the University of Victoria, British Columbia. She is the author of The Reign of Terror in America: Visions of Violence from Anti-Jacobinism to Antislavery (2009), Charity and Sylvia: A Same-Sex Marriage in Early America (2014) and Unspeakable: A Life Beyond Sexual Morality (2020). Her current project is titled ‘A Historian’s Guide to Food and Sex’.  Edited by Sam Haselby The British writer Norman Douglas was so famous during his lifetime (1868-1952) that he frequently turned up as a … Continue reading The case of Norman Douglas

I’m a Sexologist, and Here’s Why It’s Just a Myth That Longer Sex Equals Better Sex

by Mary Grace Garis Sexual stamina is something that’s long been held in high regard—after all, nobody writes R&B songs about making love for the duration of the Parks and Recreation theme song. With that in mind, the goal of sex is, apparently, doing it all night long. But for many vulva-owners, the constant in-out, in-out of vaginally penetrative sex can be tedious or even painful. So, how long should sex be, ideally? The short answer is that according to sexperts, it depends. “The exact length of sex play is really up to you,” says Donna Oriowo, PhD, a sex therapist in SimplePractice‘s network. “Are … Continue reading I’m a Sexologist, and Here’s Why It’s Just a Myth That Longer Sex Equals Better Sex

‘Revolutionary’ photo book of lesbians reissued for the first time since 1979

“Lesbian women were so invisible, even to one other, depending on where you lived,” said Lisa Vogel, 64, who appears in two photographs in the book. By Julius Constantine Motal Where there was absence, Joan E. Biren saw potential. As a lesbian and photographer in the early 1970s, Biren, who goes by JEB, said she was dismayed at the dearth of images that truly reflected her life and the lives of so many in the lesbian community. So, around 1970, she borrowed a camera from a friend and simply held it out at arm’s length as she and her lover at … Continue reading ‘Revolutionary’ photo book of lesbians reissued for the first time since 1979

Study: Does the label “straight” worsen perceptions of gay people?

A new study explores how using positive labels to describe a majority group may negative impact perceptions of minority groups. by Stephen Johnson  In a recent study published in The Journal of Sex Research, heterosexual people were asked to rate their impressions of fictitious men. Some of the fictitious men were described as “heterosexual,” the others as “straight.” Across multiple studies, participants reported worse impressions of gay men after being exposed to the word “straight,” but only if the participants were highly religious. It’s no surprise that using negative language to refer to a minority group can produce negative effects … Continue reading Study: Does the label “straight” worsen perceptions of gay people?