What It’s Like to Be A Gay Dad in 2018

A roundtable discussion with today’s modern families by Steven Blum When I came out to my mom in high school, she sat shiva for my future, barely bothering to shower or change out of her pajamas for a week. I escaped to a friend’s house and pretended his family was mine. “Are you over it?” I’d call and ask; she’d sob and I’d hang up. I’d never imagine that, 10 years later, she’d be pestering me to have kids, as if I was her straight son. “Do you think you might be ready?” she recently asked during a conversation about something completely unrelated. … Continue reading What It’s Like to Be A Gay Dad in 2018

What It’s Like To Capture Chemsex, The World’s Craziest Sex Party

by C. Brian Smith I had to take a timeout from reporting this story and catch my breath at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting, so consider this your trigger warning. I was interviewing UK photographer Matt Spike about his recently exhibited series on “chemsex” (i.e., hedonistic, multi-day gay orgies at which participants inject a trio of disinhibiting party drugs — crystal meth, mephedrone and GHB), when I stumbled on a photo that shook my 5-year sobriety to its core: “Here’s someone in a sling being administered an injection of crystal meth moments before getting fisted up to the elbow,” Spike explained. Granted, I’d never been fisted, but I … Continue reading What It’s Like To Capture Chemsex, The World’s Craziest Sex Party

What Does Sexual Objectification Look Like in the Brain?

Visual by Roga Muffin/Flickr BY Dinsa Sachan Recent research suggests that people feel less empathy for women dressed in revealing clothing compared to those dressed more conservatively. When reporting a rape to police or testifying during a trial, it’s not uncommon for women to face a barrage of intrusive questions: What were you wearing at the time of the assault? Were you intoxicated? Why were you walking home alone at night? For decades, social psychologists have documented links between the ways society perceives women and their bodies — ones that often lead to this line of questioning — and attitudes towards gender violence. But … Continue reading What Does Sexual Objectification Look Like in the Brain?

AN incest map has revealed where in Europe you can still legally have sex with your siblings. 

AN incest map has revealed where in Europe you can still legally have sex with your siblings. Shockingly, it is still legal in Spain, France while in the Republic of Ireland it is still legal bewteen siblings of the same-sex as there is no law prohibiting the act. In the UK, incest is against the law under terms of the Sexual Offences Act 2003. The map was created on mapchart.net and shared on Reddit. Consensual incest is fully legal in Spain, Russia, and is not strictly prohibited under Portuguese law. There are also now laws against the practices in France, … Continue reading AN incest map has revealed where in Europe you can still legally have sex with your siblings. 

What We Call ‘Toxic Masculinity’ in Other Languages

by Hussein Kesvani is MEL’s U.K./Europe editor. It’s called ‘straight male cancer’ in China On the academic database JSTOR, the earliest references to “toxic masculinity” as a concept come from Linda Lindsay’s 2005 Yale Journal of Biology and Medicine article, “Gender Roles: A Sociological Perspective.”Lindsay didn’t use the term exactly, but did refer to traits commonly associated with it: “Young men are often told what they should not do, rather than what they should do. ‘Don’t be a Sissy’ or the classic ‘Big boys don’t cry.’ For males, masculine gender roles are presented as more inflexible, than the roles given to women.” Later, it was more precisely defined as “traditional … Continue reading What We Call ‘Toxic Masculinity’ in Other Languages

Sex, Love, and Buddhism

A Valentine’s Day Interview with Allan Badiner By Sam Mowe It’s Valentine’s Day! Depending on how you want to look at it, either love and compassion are floating all around us or it’s the biggest day of giving in to our clinging and compulsions. To honor Buddhism’s often complicated relationship with sex and romantic love, we decided to do a special interview with Tricycle contributing editor Allan Badiner, adjunct faculty in transformative studies at the California Institute of Integral Studies. Badiner holds a masters degree in Buddhist studies and has been a student of Thich Nhat Hanh for over 20 years. If I want … Continue reading Sex, Love, and Buddhism

How To Measure Your Kid’s (And Your Own) Porn Addiction

The line between healthy exploration and addiction isn’t always clear. Here’s the questionnaire experts use to figure out whether porn use is normal or pathological. By Joshua A. Krisch Unless you raise your kids in a bunker without wi-fi, they’re eventually going to come across online pornography. Look, it’s not a bad thing. As kids wobble and fall backwards into adolescence, interest in sex is healthy—and with smartphones and laptops now the property of every 12-year-old, humiliating search histories are de rigueur. But there’s a line between healthy exploration and addiction. And both kids and adults are prone to tripping over it. If your preteen … Continue reading How To Measure Your Kid’s (And Your Own) Porn Addiction