The Hottest Trend in Male Sex Toys Is Pretty Much a Dildo You Wear Over Your Penis

by Jessica Ogilvie

The guy in the YouTube video holds up a clear, stretchy tube as he gushes into the camera.

“[I’m] doing a review on… this product, which I love!!!” he exclaims. “I love it, I’m gonna scream it from the mountaintops, I love this thing… what is it? Let me tell you — it is the Fat Boy Cock Sheath. Yasssss!”

The item about which the reviewer, Brad Smith, is so excited is a sleeve that fits over the penis. Made by a Florida-based company called Perfect Fit, the Fat Boy Stretchy Cock Extender (the toy’s full, given name) is one of the few sex toys for men, and does pretty much exactly what it says it does — extend your dick.

Or, as Smith puts it, “It’ll make you super girth-y! We can all be more girth-y, right?”

Perfect Fit owner and CEO Steve Callow says he created the Fat Boy line in 2011 after recognizing an opportunity in the market. Most other extenders at the time were made from harder material, which could bring a promising evening to a quick halt. “The guy would lose his erection in the process of [having sex],” Callow says. “They were designed only for the receiver’s benefit.”

Wanting to create a product that would feel good to both partners, Callow developed the much softer SilaSkin, a blend of thermoplastic rubber and silicone that compresses as much as it expands. Fat Boys are made completely of SilaSkin, and come in four sizes that add anywhere from a half-inch to a full inch of girth. Lined on the inside with rims and nubs for texture, the toys have holes at the bottom for the testicles, providing stability as well as a little extra tug.

“The idea was to create movement on the penis, and also movement for the receiver,” says Callow. “We wanted both partners to be able to feel pleasure.”

The Fat Boy line is among the more popular extenders on the market, but it’s not the only one. Victor Tobar, the national buying and merchandising manager for the Pleasure Chest, says that most adult toy stores offer a variety of what are alternately called penis sleeves, sheaths, cock enhancers or extenders. They’re used for both partner sex and masturbation, and have a range of differences in design: Some are firmer, some more squishy. Some add a lot of girth, some just a little boost. They come in many different colors and shapes, and there are many add-ons like extra rims or tighter rings at the base.

Tobar adds that the reasons for trying penis extenders are as varied as the customers themselves — and it’s often not about enhanced size at all. “For some people, it’s about changing the sensation of penetration with one that’s super textured or softer,” says Tobar. “Other people want ones that are a little firmer, if they’re having erections that aren’t as firm as they would like them to be. Some are made to look like skin tones, whereas [some] look a little more hardcore and less discreet.”

As for how it feels to be on the receiving end, U.K.-based sex educator Rachael McCoy of Inspiring Sexuality says in her YouTube review, “It looks a little bit scary and daunting. [But] the girth that this is going to add to your man’s cock is insane. And if you’re not struggling in the old girth department, this is just going to make your man’s cock even bigger. … It made [her partner] feel really manly and masculine, but it also made me even tighter, because obviously it pushed everything in together.”

Maybe most importantly, McCoy also addresses the elephant in the room: Wouldn’t most men be too embarrassed to tell their partner that they wanted — or needed — a penis extender?

She claims absolutely not. If anything, she says, it can offer the best of both worlds: “Originally, I would’ve thought [it] would’ve made my man feel a bit inferior. But actually, it made him feel fantastic. We had lots of fun while wearing it, and when it came off, that skin-to-skin contact felt really, really good as well.”

https://melmagazine.com/the-hottest-trend-in-male-sex-toys-is-pretty-much-a-dildo-you-wear-over-your-penis-4deacf54ce0f

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Everything That’s Ever Been Said About Boning Before Sporting Events

by Andrew Fiouzi

1. The idea that celibacy breeds maximum athletic performance dates back to 444 B.C., when Plato, of all people, opined, “Olympic competitors before races should avoid sexual intimacy.” A few centuries later, Aretaeus of Cappadocia, a celebrated Greek physician, gave Plato’s thinking a little more color: “If any man is in possession of semen, he is fierce, courageous and physically mighty, like beasts.”

2. The most detailed explanation, though, can be found in Philostratus’ Gymnasticus, the oldest text on sports known to man: “Those who come to the gymnasium straight after sex are exposed by a greater number of indicators when they train, for their strength is diminished and they are short of breath and lack daring in their attacks, and they fade in colour in response to exertion. … And when they strip, their hollow collar-bones give them away, their poorly structured hips, the conspicuous outline of their ribs, and the coldness of their blood. These athletes, even if we dedicated ourselves to them, would have no chance of being crowned in any contest. The part beneath the eyes is weak, the beating of their hearts is weak, their perspiration is weak, their sleep, which controls digestion, is weak, and their eyes glance around in a wandering fashion and indicate an appearance of lustfulness.”

3. Perhaps that’s why Cleitomachus, a star pankratiast (sort of an ancient form of MMA that was a big event during the earliest Greek Olympics), is said to have never slept with his wife, and would avert his gaze when he saw two dogs mating.

4. To ensure that a male athlete’s seed was never spilled — intentionally or otherwise — Galen, another prominent Greek doctor, recommended the following around the 2nd century, “A flattened lead plate is an object to be placed under the muscles of the loins of an athlete in training, chilling them whenever they might have nocturnal emissions of semen.”

5. That said, not everyone thought a little pre-game bacchanal was the mark of a loser. In fact, in 77 A.D., Pliny the Elder, author, philosopher and inspiration for a delicious beer, as well as a naval and army commander of the Roman Empire, argued directly against Plato and everyone else above when he wrote, “Athletes when sluggish are revitalized by lovemaking.”

6. Despite the passage of about 2,000 years, our thinking on the topic has not gotten any clearer. And the methods some athletes have gone to suppress their libidos are no less barbaric than sticking lead plates down their pants. For instance, Antonio Miguel, head of medical services at the Club Universidad Nacional Pumas, one of the top soccer teams in Mexico, has said, “At the end of the 1950s and beginning of the 1960s, people thought that sex diminished the players’ performance. Coaches gave us nitrate salts (potassium nitrate, a substance used to prevent erections) because, according to them, this would inhibit the sexual desire.”

7. With or without nitrate salts, Muhammad Ali, according to several reports, abstained from having sex for six weeks before a fight.

8. After all, WOMEN WEAKEN LEGS:

9. All of which seems backward, since a 1968 study, “Muscular Performance Following Coitus,” found that men who hadn’t had sex for six days did no better on a strength test than men who’d had sex the previous night.

10. Same for a 2000 study in the Journal of Sports Medicine and Physical Fitness involving 15 high-level athletes between the ages of 20 and 40 who participated in a two-day experiment. Its conclusion? Sexual activity had no significant overall effect on how the athletes performed during exercise and mental tests.

11. In fact, Emmanuele A. Jannini of the University of L’Aquila in Italy has found that sex stimulates the production of testosterone. “After three months without sex, which is not so uncommon for some athletes, testosterone dramatically drops to levels close to children’s levels,” he told National Geographic.

12. Of course, Joe Namath didn’t need Jannini to tell him that. “I try to [have sex the night before a game],” he explained in his 1969 Playboy Interview. “Before one game last year, I just sat home by myself and watched television, drank a little tequila to relax and went to sleep fairly early. But most of the nights before games, I’ll be with a girl. One of the Jets’ team doctors, in fact, told me that it’s a good idea to have sexual relations before a game, because it gets rid of the kind of nervous tension an athlete doesn’t need.”…

more…

https://melmagazine.com/everything-thats-ever-been-said-about-boning-before-sporting-events-e737ca33e1c1#.63byqwokg

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Don’t Be That Guy… to the Women You’re Trying to Sleep With

Illustration by Dave van Patten

Tracy Moore

Dudes gotta dude, but must you dude like this… to the other half of the population?

Men who date, marry and love women sometimes have a funny way of showing it. This week gave evidence to some strangely misguided approaches for how men coexist with the other half the population, even when they ostensibly love and care about them.

Your Stalker Is Calling

Men in India, Morocco and other places where gender segregation still reigns supreme have found an ingenious yet deeply alarming way to try to meet women: Calling random numbers until someone answers, hoping to strike up a conversation, The New York Times reported. They are called “Phone Romeos,” and it’s literally what it sounds like. They call up random women and attempt to woo them with the kind of lines that only the most hard-up would swoon for.

“Among them are overeager suitors (‘Can I recharge your mobile?’), tremulous supplicants (‘I am talking to you, madam, but my body is shaking’) and the occasional heavy breather (‘I want to do the illegal things with you’),” the Times wrote.

The men are extremely persistent, buying rosters of numbers in bulk, using multiple SIM cards and false names to avoid being identified, or keep pestering women who aren’t interested (which would be most of them). One police call center in India said they get some 700 calls a day from women complaining about these total weirdos. “Sometimes they call and say, ‘I love you,’” a woman told the Times. “Sometimes they call and say, ‘I want to talk to Sonia,’ and I would say, ‘I am not Sonia,’ and they would say, ‘Okay, can I talk to you?’”

Weirder still is that sometimes the scam actually works — one woman in the story has been talking with her gentleman caller for 11 months, though they still haven’t met in person. Hey, even a stopped clock is right twice a day, no matter how much it wants to do the illegal things with you.

Dick Moves

When Talking Points Memo reporter Alice Ollstein asked Sen. Pat Roberts (R-Kansas) if he was in favor of the Republican healthcare plan meant to replace Obamacare cutting essential health benefits like breast cancer screenings, he was a big old dick to her:

He later apologized, CNN reported, saying he knew mammograms were essential to women’s health, but they noted he’d also previously said to CNN he wouldn’t need mammograms personally since he’s a dude anyway — a funny comment from a man with a wife and two daughters. Two shitty comments and one dick apology make a visual dick and pair of balls of dickness.

52 Percent Stupid

A nonpartisan poll found that while the majority of Americans are cool with reproductive rights, 52 percent of men don’t think they personally have benefited from women in their lives having easy or affordable access to birth control, ThinkProgress reported. That is weird because unplanned pregnancy is very expensive. Perhaps these men inadvertently revealed they are, in fact, the precise percentage of the population that never gets laid.

https://melmagazine.com/dont-be-that-guy-to-the-women-you-re-trying-to-sleep-with-1a126a0824ff#.tb2sjsgsw

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The real Casanova

Resultado de imagem para Illustration by Brunelleschi

Illustration by Brunelleschi from a 1755 edition of Memories of Giacomo Casanova de Seingalt. Photo by akg-images/Fototeca Gilardi

His name is synonymous with serial seduction but Casanova’s memoirs reveal a man greater than the sum of his ‘conquests’

Laurence Bergreen is an award-winning biographer, historian, and chronicler of exploration. His books have been translated into over 25 languages worldwide. His most recent adult book is Casanova: The World of a Seductive Genius (2016). He lives in New York City.

Edited by Nigel Warburton

Everyone thinks that they know about Casanova, the legendary lover who proceeded from one romantic conquest to another, but almost no one really does. They believe that he was handsome, distinguished and practised in the arts of love, a virtual Zorro of the boudoir. That he was a wealthy member of the upper class, and celebrated in his lifetime for his exploits. So runs the fable of the great lover.

In reality, Giacomo Girolamo Casanova was a far more complex and intriguing figure, a libertine, to be sure, but so much more. And – in case there is any doubt – he was a real person. Born in Venice on 2 April 1725, he was the obscure son of a somewhat famous actress and courtesan named Zanetta Farussi and a forgotten actor, Gaetano Casanova. If anyone in this modest family qualified as a ‘Casanova’, it was his mother Zanetta with her love affairs and wiles and penchant for abandoning him. At the start of 1726, the New Theatre in the Haymarket in London hired his parents along with an ensemble of Italian comedians; Zanetta and Gaetano left Giacomo in the care of his grandmother Marzia. A little more than a year later, Gaetano and Zanetta’s second child, Francesco Giuseppe, was born, and baptised on 1 June. Rumours described him as the bastard child of King George II.

In Venice, meanwhile, young Giacomo suffered from nosebleeds that he said affected his ability to think. His environment was equally problematic. The Republic of Venice, as it was known, was extremely hierarchical, and ruled by 400 families registered in the Libro d’Oro, or Golden book, a directory of Venetian nobility. This rigid structure was destined to collapse under its own weight but, at the time, Venice thrived on sin; it was the Las Vegas of its day. Tourists came from across Europe to sample its gambling dens and its courtesans, and other illicit pleasures. Some convents functioned as harems for the daughters of wealthy families who did not want the girls to marry or to bear children. Under cover of religious vocation, they entertained well-heeled admirers and staged orgies. In time, a ‘nunnery’ became a synonym for a ‘brothel’, as Hamlet said to Ophelia. 

As the son of actors, Casanova had no place at all in Venetian society, decadent or otherwise. Actors were outcasts. They couldn’t even be buried in consecrated ground. For Casanova, a career in the clergy was the approved way up and out of the restricted circumstances of his birth. It was a path to education and a secure status in a society. He himself did not feel a sense of religious calling; quite the opposite. He was cynical about the whole experience and wrote about it in amusing, occasionally caustic terms. He did get a sense of excitement when he began preaching sermons, but for Casanova the most important part of the experience was the impression he made on women. 

In time, he found a quicker path to women and status as a successful gambler, and left the priesthood, although throughout his life he benefited from the classical education he had received. So he spent the rest of his life manufacturing identities to overcome the disadvantage of low birth. He styled himself as the Chevalier de Seingalt, appropriating a title to which he had no claim. On this basis, he managed to ingratiate himself with the aristocracy, and to gain access to women of the upper echelons, who were, at least in his account, taken in by his impersonation of an aristocrat. Each time he seduced an upper-class woman, he had a sense of evening the score, of striking a blow for the common man.

Casanova claimed that he bedded 124 women – not a lot, perhaps, by the current yardstick of some celebrity memoirs, but more than enough to qualify for libertine status, so long as he did not marry – and he never did. ‘Marriage is the tomb of love,’ he wrote in his memoirs. Who was his greatest love of all the women in his life? A Freudian would answer: his mother, very possibly present in his subconscious because of her absence in his daily life. We know a few tantalising titbits about Zanetta. Ruthlessly ambitious, she abandoned him when he was a child to pursue her vocation as an actress. Casanova saw her infrequently during the rest of his life. She retired on a pension to Prague, at the time a centre of the arts, after a reasonably distinguished and scandalous career performing in commedia dell’arte

more…

https://aeon.co/essays/is-there-more-to-the-legendary-lover-than-his-reputation

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Hot People Can’t Seem to Stay in Relationships

Illustration by Dave van Patten

Tracy Moore

More options, more problems

As the old 1963 Jimmy Soul song advises, “If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life / never make a pretty woman your wife / so for my personal point of view / get an ugly girl to marry you.” While the notion was soon denounced for being retrograde, shallow, lookist and sexist — and the song itself would eventually be banned from the radio — the idea that pretty women are trouble has stuck with us culturally. New research confirms that more attractive people may actually have trouble staying in long-term relationships—but it’s just as true for men as it is for women.

Psychologist Christine Ma-Kellams at the University of California, Santa Cruz, recently published a study of four experiments in the journal Personal Relationships that found a link between being attractive and marriage length, Broadly reported. The four experiments found that men’s faces rated as more attractive (by independent coders) in two high school yearbooks from the ‘70s and ‘80s had briefer marriages; actors and actresses rated more attractive were married for less time; people rated more attractive who are in exclusive relationships tend to show more interest when presented with other potential relationship options; and when you make someone feel more attractive (by showing them pictures of less attractive people), they, too, will show more interest in other attractive people.

“I think attractiveness gives you more options in terms of relationship alternatives, which might make it harder to protect a relationship from outside threats,” Ma-Kellams told Broadly. “In this sense, having too many other choices is likely not beneficial for relationship longevity.”

The idea here is that if you don’t think you’re too hot to trot, you’re likely more invested in doing the work relationships require rather than ditching for sunnier pastures. But there are a few caveats here, which Ma-Kellams notes in the study. With the high school yearbook ratings, they were looking at pictures of 17- and 18-year old men — faces only — with no clear sense of how good looking they were later, or how well they aged.

With the other experiments, people were simply shown photographs of other attractive people, not interacting in any way. So though it’s worth noting that, depressingly, while just looking at other hot people may all it takes to make you perk up about a new romantic avenue, that doesn’t mean the people in those photographs are an actual threat — or that, in the end, you wouldn’t be motivated to make your existing hot-person relationship work.

However, what isn’t hard to understand here is that good-looking people have more options in the sexual marketplace, and when you have more options, you may not always think it’s worth doing the tedious, boring work of making a real relationship with another human last for the long haul. Why would you? There is always another hot person right outside, ready to give this thing a shot.

The idea of too many choices being a bummer instead of a boon isn’t new, either — the paradox of choice idea from Barry Schwartz argues that, at least on a consumer level, too much choice can be bad. The famous experiment involved consumers having 24 jars of jam to choose from versus six. Those staring down 24 options had more anxiety not just over picking one jam, but also with being happy with that choice later. The idea has since been criticized — new studies have found that no one likes just one option, either. And some research has shown that having a lot of choice is great when you know exactly what you want.

But back to that Jimmy Soul song. Another lyric in the song — “ An ugly woman cooks her meals on time / She’ll always give you peace of mind,” suggests that a woman who has fewer options and less beauty capital is going to be more invested in your happiness, more interested in pleasing you. We can assume this is because, ostensibly, she’s actually grateful to have you…

more…

https://melmagazine.com/hot-people-cant-seem-to-stay-in-relationships-60d5f243e36c#.wit6yrw60

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A Night of BDSM for Newbies

by Jessica Ogilvie

L.A.’s Club Awakening is a live-action Kink 101

The orgasmic wailing is coming from my left.

A barefoot woman swathed in a black fishnet body stocking is handcuffed to a St. Andrew’s cross, her back toward me. Her silky brown hair is gathered in a low, loose bun, the stocking exposing her naked body through its cheesecloth-like holes. With every thwack of the flogger’s tentacles across her cream-colored back, she howls in ecstasy.

We’re in a dark room with black walls, gray carpet and several other pieces of kink-themed furniture. Outside, about 100 people mingle, wandering at will into other rooms just like this one. The labyrinth building is called Sanctuary Studios, a space where L.A.’s BDSM community can come to play. But tonight’s event, Club Awakening, is slightly different than other parties held here: It’s geared specifically toward welcoming newbies to the world of fetish.

“I wanted to create someplace where people could come and play, [and] if there’s something you want to try, you can,” says Jenn Masri, an L.A.-based marriage and family therapist who created Club Awakening a year ago. “It provides a little less of a shocking atmosphere.”

Masri got the idea for Club Awakening after teaching BDSM classes for rookies for several years. She instructs students on concepts like consent, safe words and terminology. She says one question that comes up consistently is, “Where can I go for my first party?”

Four newb-friendly booths scattered throughout Sanctuary Studios allow attendees to try hands-on play — e.g., spanking; crops, canes and paddles; flogging; and ropes. A fifth surprise booth has included more extreme offerings such as fire cupping and light knife play. The event has been packed every month since its debut, including the night I attend.

The event is monthly and generally well-attended. This night in mid-February isn’t any different — despite its being at the peak of the worst rainstorm L.A. has seen in years, the type of foul weather that usually renders Angelenos unable to leave their houses at all, let alone drive somewhere in the dark. But once I check my coat and enter the club’s inner sanctum, I find myself amid a throng of dry, happy and, occasionally, nude or nearly nude people.

Masri has linked me up with Pam, a 47-year-old data department manager from Orange County who has been exploring “the scene,” as it’s colloquially known, for about six months. Pam discovered the scene through a friend just as her 18-year marriage was coming to an end. “I was looking for something,” she says, and “the more I read, the more I got interested.”

Her story, I find, isn’t unusual: Leave an unhappy marriage, enter BDSM. Masri herself has a similar history. “I didn’t get involved until I was out of a 17-year, vanilla marriage,” she says. “Someone I dated did a couple kinky things, and I was like, ‘That was fun, I want to do more of it!’”

Pam has been to Club Awakening, she estimates, five or six times. “I love this event,” she says. “You can try something new, and you can meet new people.”

Around 5-foot-6-inches, Pam is dressed for the evening in a blue-gray tunic top, tight black pants and low-heeled mules. Her lips are painted red, as are her toenails; her shoulder-length, dirty blonde hair is collected into a low ponytail, and she wears delicate amethyst earrings that dangle into the shape of flower petals. We were originally going to explore the event as a pair, but last week, Pam met Jeremy, a 48-year-old dominant and her date for the evening. Much taller than Pam, Jeremy has been in the scene for several decades. He wears coke-bottle glasses and sports a scruffy salt-and-pepper beard, gray-blue button-down and black slacks.

For the first hour, the three of us stand around a cocktail table and chat. It’s an alcohol-free event, so the bar is stocked with six different kinds of soda: Cactus Cooler, Cherry Pepsi, 7 Up, Mountain Dew, root beer and — amusingly — Squirt. It’s also a potluck. A folding table is decorated with homemade platters of food, including frosted lemon cake and pink sugar cookies with Hello Kitty emblems at their center; plastic tubs of cookies from Trader Joe’s; and a bowl with single-serving bags of chips: Spicy Cheese Doritos, Chili Cheese Fritos, Cheeto Puffs and Ruffles…

more…

https://melmagazine.com/a-night-of-bdsm-for-newbies-fbcc4ecce8d2#.1o4m4hpq4

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‘I Have a Headache’ and Other Signs You’re in a Barren Sexual Wasteland

Brian VanHooker

How you can tell you’re in a sexless relationship (and how to fix it)

Relationship counselors might tell you, in comforting tones, that it’s natural for passion to fade over time, and that it’s slowly replaced with things like comfort and trust and emotional intimacy. That’s great and all, but what happens if what you really need right now is a good fuck? What if, while trying to hold your family together, you’re silently clawing your own eyeballs out, trapped in the relentless cycle of frustration and resentment that comes with the dreaded sexless relationship? It’s a cliché from the depths of sitcom hell, but it’s one that many people are living. We spoke to a relationship expert about how it happens and how to break the sexless cycle.

How Few Times Do You Need to Have Sex to Be Considered Sexless?

According to psychologists interviewed by Newsweek, the most commonly agreed-upon standard for defining a sexless relationship is a couple who has sex fewer than 10 times per year. So if you’re not having sex around once a month (the average couple fucks at least twice a week), you can consider your relationship to be officially “sexless.” But take some comfort in knowing that you’re far from alone: According to psychologists, as many as 15 to 20 percent of couples are living like this.

As with anything to do with sex, official numbers aside, it really boils down to whether or not the needs of each partner are being met. Per psychotherapist and relationship expert Lisa White, it also might be more important to pay attention to the trend lines — i.e., once you see the normal amount of sex in your relationship decreasing, it’s vital to figure out the reason why. Similarly, she says it’s important not to fool yourself into believing that it’s just a temporary drought — if you or your partner have been “just too tired” for longer than three months, you’ve got serious cause for concern.

How a Sexless Relationship Happens

According to White, there are a bunch of reasons men and women might stop sleeping with each other. One of the biggest causes is simply that people change over time, and the person you’re with now may not be the same as the person you started out with. “Sometimes, relationships evolve, but people don’t evolve with the relationship,” says White.

This is especially true if one partner has, over time, developed a taste for a specific type of sex that their partner doesn’t like or want to explore. More to the point, the evolution of sexual taste is a natural part of aging; for example, many of those who are into BDSM don’t discover their kink (or at least, don’t act on it) until they’re well into their 30s. Some people even begin to find themselves becoming more attracted to the same sex later in life which, naturally, can be hell on a marriage.

But why does this happen? According to White, a lot of it has to do with how we grow to accept ourselves as we age. “As you get older, people are more comfortable with their bodies, and especially when people enter their 40s, they begin to reflect on what they’ve done, or haven’t done, and they begin to feel their mortality,” she explains.

Of course, the reasons for sex slowly disappearing from your relationship can also be far more simple — and emotional: “Maybe there’s something both people are mad at, but they won’t resolve,” says White…

more…

https://melmagazine.com/i-have-a-headache-and-other-signs-you-re-in-a-barren-sexual-wasteland-e87c520301f#.8c25lsm5v

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